Recently in Microslobs Category

If nothing else strikes me as odd about lots of people at Microsoft, it's this: whenever a cool new product is announced the first thing people always ask is, "do we get a discount on it?" I mean, discounts are nice and all, and we enjoy lots of great discounts on many cool products by the sheer virtue of working for the Evil Empire. But, this (see picture) is just plain ghetto.

When I was killing time in Gamestop, I saw several games that had one of these stickers on them. Since the text is kind of fuzzy, it says: "Microsoft Company Store Purchase; Not to be Sold; Purchased by [employee number]" along with, "not for resale" elsewhere on the label. These labels *do not come off under any circumstances*, and the funny thing is that the employee didn't even bother to scratch off his or her number. The policy for buying things at the Company Store is pretty clear: you're not to resell anything you buy there. Not only is it kind of a fuck you to resell something that you received such a deep discount on, but it's also grounds for potential discplinary action. So, there you have it. Today's installment of Microslobs.

This is an interesting error...

UH.. OK?!

There's been a couple of power outages at my Microsoft building the past few days due to heavy rains. This morning when I got into the office, I got onto the elevator with some other guy I had never met before. About halfway to my destination (somewhere between the first and third floor), the elevator's lights went out and the elevator started to slow. The guy with me started going all crazy like "OH SHIT, OH SHIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! OH SHIT! THE ELEVATOR IS STUCK! OH SHIT!" About 2 seconds later, the lights came back on, and we reached the third floor destination. The guy was all like, "HO, SHIT. WE WERE ABOUT TO GET TO KNOW EACHOTHER REALLY WELL! I'M TURNING OFF THE COMPUTER IN MY OFFICE *other unintelligible mumblings*" as he walked away.

I just thought to myself, "what a freak."

I'm taking the stairs from now on.

Did I mention the building is only three stories?

What a freak.

..those words, immortalized by Avenue Q's "Gary Coleman" never rang so true as they did today.

My back is killing me from DDRing yesterday, so I didn't feel like taking the stairs up to the third floor. In my building, there's two elevator banks right next to eachother. So, I go into the elevator, as it's about 1/2" to being closed, some dickwad comes and basically prys the door open so he can get into the elevator. It was like the moment in Terminator 2 where T-1000 turned his arms into pry bars and forced the elevator doors open (well, without the chopping off of said arms, which would have been cool in this instance).

I'm all like, what the hell? I mean, it's not like there's not another elevator right next to mine, they aren't so terribly slow that it'd take 5 minutes for the dude to wait for another one. So, yeah.

I should have known something like this would happen. As I went into the parking garage, the ever-abused end parking spot was occupied by yet another dumbass taking up two spaces for no apparent reason.

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Microslobs is an idea that I've been kicking around in my head for, oh, a couple of years now. Ever since things like cameraphone and mini digital cameras became cheap and accessible.

The premise here is that with any big company, you'll have your share of people who are rude, inconsiderate, and outright slobs. Microsoft is no exception. When we work here, we have a list of six tenets we are expected to follow. Such things like honesty, passion for products and technology, teamwork, and so on. For some people, when they aren't in their offices, these all get thrown out the window. This is the premise behind Microslobs.

It can all be summed up with this one saying that I used to say, "we have some of the most brilliant minds working here, we have billions of dollars in capital, and hundreds of millions of dollars of computer equipment sitting in this building, so why the fuck can't people flush the toilet?"

Enjoy.